Friday, April 1, 2011

Sometimes I Learn Stuff

So, a couple days ago I was at The Deli here in Norman with my accomplice TJ. We were there to see John Wayne's Bitches (great band) and Zombie Vs. Shark (they're good too). Something was in the air that night, and that something was fucking with us.

Regaled with tales of judo classes and sick children, TJ and I sat in the corner of the bar in a love seat and just observed the goings-on. I saw a girl walk into the bar holding a man's hand. Nothing special, right? Then I noticed her making out with that guy. Still not all that wild. Then I saw her make out with two other guys and a girl. That's where it got interesting.

I saw someone sneaking booze into the bar--a pint of Evan Williams to be exact. I helped them finish it off since I witnessed it. I watched a girl take her shirt off and was treated to an enchanting pair of nipple piercings. TJ told me to "just embrace the weirdness" at around this point. A pretty, hippie girl drooled on herself whilst staring at me, edged closer, and dribbled on my leg. Then I made out with her for a bit. Truly, odd occurrences must turn me on, and I embraced it as my friend advised. This is what I learned about myself: if a girl drools on me, I will kiss her.

TJ believes, and has believed for a few weeks, that he has suffered a psychotic break at some point in the past couple months. He came to this conclusion after the pieces of his life began to assemble themselves into something actually favorable and not shitty. The peculiarities of the night reinforced his notion that he is either locked up in a mental ward somewhere or that he is in a comatose state in some random hospital.

Toward the end of the evening, TJ announced that he would take control of his hallucinations by the next morn. His plan was to wake up a "ninja wizard." I informed him that if this were to happen he would, in fact, become a "ninjizard." I desperately hoped this would come true because (1) that would be awesome and (2) I would fashion myself into a "nymphomancer." But, alas, it was not to be.

The oddities I recounted for you (as well as those I did not) were just a consequence of living in a college town, I suppose. It's another reason why I love Norman. It beats living in my hometown nearly any day of the week, and if I ever move back, I assume it'll be a fight the whole way.


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